I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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