...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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