just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Randomize
