you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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