Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
