I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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