i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
