help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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