Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
