So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
