SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
