i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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