think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
