I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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