they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Randomize
