I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
