He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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