I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
