my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
