my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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