keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
