i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
