If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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