I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
