She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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