with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
