i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the day after is always just damage control
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
