I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
