hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
