after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
