The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
