Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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