There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
