I wanna bring you to show and tell
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
