afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
