Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
