it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
