i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
