Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
