I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
