I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Everything about him screamed your future.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
