gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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