...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
