i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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