I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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