Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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