Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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