I just saw a hot homeless man
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
