I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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