Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
