i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
